I have three children. Ages 4 years, 2 years, and 9 months.
And can I just say, I need a nap. Now.
My children are the highlight of each and every day, and they truly are what gives me the motivation that I need every morning.
(Mostly because at least one of them is begging for breakfast at 6:30am)
They fill every day with a beautiful innocence that I so frequently need reminded of, and they bring copious amounts of magic to our home. They are love and they are light.
But with all of the sugar-sweet love that they give, comes the stigmas from others about having multiple toddlers.
And let me tell you, it never ends.
I’ve been at both ends of the spectrum. I’ve received major amounts of support and love from complete strangers, and I’ve also received the derogatory comments. Some are completely out there! (i.e.: “You must not know how babies are made!” or “Why ruin your life?!”) Why the derogatory comments about another person’s personal reproducing schedule?
But I’m here to set straight the naysayers about our so-called “lifestyle” that seems to quickly get dismissed as us being a part of some weird religious cult (uh, no) and to answer the questions that many of my childless friends have been asking.
1. Yes, they were planned!
Okay, well offspring #1 wasn’t quite as planned as the others. But from a young age I knew that when I did have children, I wanted them all to be close in age. Maybe it is because I have a brother who is seven years older than I am and we have never had a common interest and have not really gotten along. Maybe its because I have always wanted my children to grow up “together” in a sense, so they can all learn and grow as a tightly-knit team. But whatever the case, we love that our children are close in age. It just works for us!
(Ours are all 22 months apart!)
2. Yes, they get along!
Let me just say that I’ve never seen such a close relationship between siblings than the relationship that my kids have with each other. My two daughters get along so well and are so inseparable that I get asked frequently if they’re twins!
With each subsequent pregnancy, I worried about the changes that the current relationships would face. But to my pleasant surprise, my children only continue to bond more every day.
Now don’t get me wrong. We have many fights in a day. The usual “Mommy! She stole my toy!” Or “Mommy! Kohana scratched me!” If you’re a mother or father, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Those nagging arguments that happen from sun-up to sun-down. But as of right now they still get along nearly all of the time.
Seeing the love and admiration that my children have for each other really seals my choice for having them close in age. It was an excellent decision for us, and as of right now, I have no regrets. (Though I’m sure I will experience some regret once they hit the teenage years!)
3. Yes! I do have my hands full!
I think this is the most common statement I get from others. I will be pushing a cart holding my 2-year-old, while wearing my 9-month-old, and holding my oldest’s hand when suddenly a stranger approaches and asks “Are they all yours?” When I give a nod, they automatically respond with “Wow! You have your hands full!”
(Cue internal eye-roll)
Yes. You’re absolutely right! My arms are tired and my back is aching from constantly lifting little bodies. My hands are usually filled with diaper bags, snacks, toys, and chubby little fingers. My body looks worn and lived in and is usually displaying some sort of artwork created by my 9-month-old’s spit-up and saliva that is forever running out of his gummy little smile.
But you see, grocery store stranger, I wouldn’t have it any other way. For when I finally get my children in bed for the night and dance my way back downstairs for some “Mommy” time, I can’t help but check on them several more times just to watch them sleep. My soul flutters when I see their sweet, dreamy smiles for they are made of absolute stardust. And just like that, I’m reminded once more of my soul purpose.
So while my house may never be spotless and my clothes won’t be unstained and dishes may accumulate in my sink, yes, my hands may be full.
But my heart?
Its much fuller.
Its the best.